Rest

Many of us live divided lives. A gap exists between who we are and who we long to be. And for plenty of us, this divide can be traced down to the difference between who we are in the morning and who we are in the evening. A divide that can be bridged through rest.

The emergence of each day brings with it a sense of opportunity and potential. We rise early, eager to conquer the day, ready to bring that idyllic version of ourselves to fruition. And yet, more often than we’d care to admit, we come out the other side beaten and battered, the day having conquered us. Unrealistic expectations are imposed on us at work, our child throws a tantrum, a friend makes an off-hand remark we can’t help but take the wrong way. We may be able to deal such things individually, but, inevitably, they start to build upon one another, wearing us down, little by little. So, at the end of the day, we seek refuge anywhere we can find it. Alcohol, television, social media, anything to help us forget about the day we just had.

Such behaviour is certainly understandable. Even the most accomplished people in the world use external means to relax at the end of the day, but where the troubles lies is when it goes beyond mere relaxation. A drink at the end of the day may help take the edge off, but getting drunk makes for a completely different night. Television can help us decompress, but binging episode after episode becomes problematic. Connecting with others on social media can be beneficial, but scrolling endlessly gets us nowhere. And not only do such activities done in excess prevent us from actually dealing with the problems we’re facing head on, they inhibit our morning selves from making any forward progress. They create a gap.

As Matthew Walker pointed out during his interview on The Knowledge Project, alcohol may make us sleepy, but it is not a sleep agent, it is a sedative that works against our natural sleep cycles, so we don’t actually feel fully rested when we awake. Letting that next episode on Netflix automatically play may alleviate the temptation to know what happens next in a series, but every episode keeps us awake that much later, shortening the time available for sleep. The same can be said for scrolling endlessly—not to mention all the information that our brain has to try and process—once we put our phones down. Such activities prevent us from getting the rest we so desperately need to tackle the next day, making it that much easier to slip into such behaviour the next night, and the night after as well, perpetuating the cycle. But the real kicker is, our evening selves often believe our morning selves can handle it. We still set the alarm—we may even set it to go off earlier than normal because of some thing that inspired us during our escape—thinking the morning, and the version of ourselves that will meet the morning, will take care of everything.

And maybe our morning selves can handle it, for a time. With enough will and caffeine, a lot can be, and has been, accomplished. But that doesn’t mean it’s ideal, far from it. Often, living in such a manner leads only to frustration, ineffectiveness, and, ultimately, burnout. How could it not? A bridge can’t be built on just one side of a river.

Fortunately, where a divide exists, so too exists the opportunity for connection. Something to bridge the gap between our two selves. And that bridge can be as simple getting a decent night’s sleep. So relax at the end of a tough day, just keep the morning in mind. Limit the drinks, the episodes, the time on social media, so that you can still reap the benefits that such things offer, while still allowing for a solid rest. Because if we really want to get ahead, our evening selves need to give our morning selves a fighting chance, and sleep is the best way to do that. Then, over time, the divide will cease to exist.