It is easy to get wrapped up in the image of our future selves. To think of all the things we’re going to do, all the money we’re going to make, the trips we’re going to take, the kind of person we’re going to become. We think the problem—or problems—plaguing us at this very moment will be removed. “If I didn’t have to work eight hours a day, I could spend more time creating.” “If I didn’t have these extra pounds I could go out for runs.” “If I was more stoic, compassionate, buddhist, whatever, this wouldn’t bother me.”
The list is endless, which is exactly why we get lost in it. And it’s fun, too. Not only does daydreaming about the future let us escape from the very real problems facing us in reality, but it also provides some level of belief that we will indeed become those people we dream of. They are us, after all, just a hop, skip and a jump away in time. And we’ll get there, eventually.
If only it were so easy.
The person we want to be, whether rich or healthy or creative or patient, must be cultivated. They must be moulded over time. If we want it to last, that is. Of course, some things-in theory-can be solved with quick, albeit, impractical, fixes. You could win the lottery, you could get liposuction, you could go on a week long painting retreat where you do nothing but paint all day. But unless the right behaviour is in place for sustaining such traits, the winnings will be short-lived.
To really become the person we dream of, we must dedicate ourselves to change, and we do this through our actions, all of our actions. As James Clear says in his practical and very actionable book Atomic Habits, “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”
The choices we make, and their ensuing actions, either bring us toward who we want to be, or further away. Salad over burger. Writing over watching Netflix. Exercising over sleeping in. To become that which we desire, we must incorporate the appropriate actions into our daily lives that will bring us closer to our vision.
It takes effort, of course. It requires actively thinking about who we want to become, not in some fantasy, but a person rooted in the real world. And then, once we have a clear image of that person, committing to bringing that vision to reality. To saying yes to that which we want to become, and no to that which we don’t in every situation we face.
Because it is within all of us to be that person we think we could be, we just have to buy into it. To stop daydreaming, and starting being. One choice at a time, one action at a time.
scott ironmonger 