Confidence

We as a species like confidence. We want solid, concrete, unshakeable answers to our questions, and if we don’t have such answers, then we’ll seek out those who do. And if those we find can make us believe they’re right, then, by God, they’re right. Coaches, CEOs, cult leaders, these folks radiate confidence. They give us direction, setting the course for our ships, and alerting us, without hesitation, when corrections must be made. They have to. If they didn’t, we’d jump ship at the first opportunity. Of course, we do not seek confidence only in those we follow, we yearn for it in every facet of life. From tech support to plumbing repair, we want to associate with those who not only know what they’re doing, but let us know that they know what they’re doing through showings of confidence. And we’ll gladly pay for it.

Of course, results is the only true measure of confidence. Alas, confidence can be fabricated. Simple things like language—spoken and body—can make someone appear far more confident than they really are. The same can be said for one’s wardrobe, level of eye contact, and comfortability in silence. This is because such traits appeal to our primal selves, they are the make-up of the alpha, the head honcho, the top-dog. And such characteristics have duped plenty of lost souls in the past, and will continue to do so well into the future. Though, as the collective human psyche expands through such forums as the Internet, we are learning to disregard the conventional depiction of confidence, and recognizing, more and more, the deeper, more rock solid confidence that comes with results. Of course results do not come without action.

Confidence lies within us all. We just have to find it. The only way to find it is to act. The more we work on something, the more we learn about the craft and about ourselves. For, in all actuality, this is the only thing we can every be fully confident in. We can never know anything else better than we know ourselves. The moment we give ourselves over to another person of flesh and blood is the moment we entrust our confidence elsewhere. The only answers others have are the answers for themselves. We are all absolutely unique individuals, and within each and everyone of us is our own unique, individual calling. The big questions revolve around what we’re supposed to do with our lives. What were we put on this planet to do? We must find that, for that is at the core of our being. The sole driver in our decisions. Alas, we’re often too caught up with easier to answer questions like how will I feed myself today? or how can I entertain myself? The answers to these questions are readily available, and are offered to us by anyone willing to take your money. We pay for confidence alright. If we do not pay in the transactional sense of money for products, we pay with our lives.

If we do not know what to do for money, we’ll hop aboard the ship of a corporation or some well known business for gainful employment. They know what they’re doing, we can let them tell us what to do for a while in exchange for money. That is until we figure out what we’re supposed to do, provided we don’t forget that we’re still supposed to keep looking for our purpose. Because if that company tells you they don’t need you anymore, well now what are you supposed to do? Just because we’ve hitched a ride doesn’t mean we’ll be taken where we want to go.

So what must we do? We must reflect. Not only on our shortcomings, but on our capabilities, our successes. We must recognize what we’re good at, and cultivate those skills further by putting them into action. Not by anyone else’s volition other than our own. And as we put ourselves to the test and reflect accordingly, we’ll find that we can do a lot more than we thought. That we don’t need to borrow somebody else’s confidence, we’ve got our own.