The majority of my inputs nowadays come via the Tim Ferris Show podcast, and occasionally, when I want something lighter, Pete Holmes’ podcast You Made It Weird. Both of these sources provide great insight into life and the lessons learned from a multitude of different versions of successful people (They also provide great book recommendations, and thus my library slowly grows by their, and their guests’ hands). And as much as I enjoy taking the little changes mentioned and implementing them into my own life, there is one undeniable theme that underlines every episode. It is that of individuality.
Every success story comes from people following their own path. This is a difficult thing to do at first, but once somebody become their true selves, they cannot be replicated. Because no one else, no matter how hard he or she tries, can be someone else. Of course the theme is not exclusive to these two programs; it is everywhere.
Anything that is worthwhile of our attention is a result of individuality. We all have a unique outlook on the world, and we all have our own story, both of which are worthwhile. However, many of us, myself included, fall victim to the idea that we are not worthwhile, so we latch on to someone, or something, so that we can remain unnoticed in the shadow of the bigger entity’s uniqueness. One of the simplest forms of this is remaining an employee. When you are an employee you seldom have to make decisions on your own. You’re simply told what to do by the higher ups, so if something goes wrong, as long as you followed the protocol, it isn’t your fault, but the fault of your superiors. This is a safe and secure plan. But it slowly kills us.
Deep down we all yearn to be ourselves, to make our own decisions, our own mistakes, and blaze our own trail. Though this is by far the most terrifying thing we can do. The reason being is that we do not know where it will take us. It is the fear of the unknown. But if we follow the path of someone else, say a parent who was an employee their whole life, we can see that we’ll have a steady pay cheque to pay the bills and put food on the table, we’ll be able to put presents under the tree every Christmas for the kids, and we’ll get to retire when we’re old. The ends all seem fine and dandy, but what about the means? What about all those hours spent working a job you hate, thinking what some one tells you to think, and doing what someone tells you to do, even if you know you are capable of doing bigger and better things? This can be absolutely debilitating. No wonder the vast majority of us drown out the work day/week with a cocktail of television, junk food, drugs, and alcohol. This is what happens when we accept someone else’s idea of life as our own.
We must blaze our own trail! We must step out from the shadow of someone else’s dream and start living our own. It will be the most horribly terrifying thing that we have ever done, but it is absolutely necessary.
Though now I must be honest. These words mean nothing. I have written things like this to myself countless times. Telling myself that from now on I will take responsibility as the sole controller of my destiny, and yet I am no better than the examples on which I draw. I work from Monday to Friday in a grey cubicle doing data entry. Yes, the job covers my rent, groceries, and the occasional night out. But what it does is eat away at my time, and even more painfully, my soul. I know that I am capable of much more than that. But actually stepping out on my own to create my destiny is a completely different thing than blabbering about it on some blog post or in my journal. I suppose this blog in itself is my testing the waters of stepping out on my own. But it is nothing more than looking at the pool and seeing that it is open for swim. I’ve not yet even dipped my toe in. What is necessary is a challenge. For only through experience do we ever really grow.
scott ironmonger 